Every week or so the school newpaper publishes the campus beat, which is the log from Campus Security. Sometimes it is wholly dull. Today's is like a little compendium of both the Weird and weird reporting.
First up we have a serious one. There was a sexual assault a couple weeks ago where a woman answered an ad for nude modeling. The person asked her to come to his place, which she did alone, and was raped. OK, so this is big and has been discussed on campus a lot. They only good news is that those reports said there was an immediate arrest of the suspect. This makes sense since he took her to HIS house. But then we have the following Campus Beat notes:
10/24 9:17 PM --- A woman gave Campus Security information about a man who tried to get her to pose nude for him.
10/26 12:22 PM --- A woman reported that she saw the art model suspect posting fliers on campus.
OK, so now I am confused, because supposedly they arrested the guy several days before he was spotted twice on campus. And if he isn't arrested, are they even looking for him since he appears to come to school every day posting messages on the
Similarly on the bad reporting, we have:
10/27 --- A witness reported seeing a man set a book on fire in Sinclair Library. Campus Security issued the man a trespass warning.
OK, you need some context for this. Last spring, several books were found in the Hamilton Library burned. This was right after a flood had destroyed most of the bottom two floors of the building, so that it had just been re-opened and no one
was supposed to spend long times inside. This became a huge deal. The library completely revamped its security to stop this. Every floor had several security officers on it. A video camera was set up at the entrance. We all had to show our
school ID and sign in every single time we went inside the place. Disgusted professors sent emails around because nothing horrifies an academic like burning a book.
So, now, after all that - tens of thousands of dollars spent on security, video-taping the students, etc. - they possibly catch the guy, and the response is "hey, get out of here, bud."
What the hell?! Had the Security officers over in Sinclair not heard about this, or did they give him a high-five for giving them their jobs in the first place? Moreover, after days of front page articles about the book burning when it first happened, this doesn't deserve an article in the paper other than in a little buried blurb in Campus Beat?
10/28 5:36 p.m. — A man reported that while his motorcycle was parked at Sinclair Library, someone stole the keys out of the ignition.
You, sir, yes you, I mean the man whose key was stolen, you, sir, are an idiot. Nothing is stolen more often on campus than bikes, mopeds, and motorcycles. Happens every few days. In fact, it happened this week on... 10/26 at 6:34 PM, by chance. If you own a moped for more than a year at UH, you make an offering to Pele. But this gentleman leaves his key in the ignition to his motorcyle and takes off. He comes back and find the key gone and is upset enough to call Security. It's like leaving your wallet stuffed with $100 bills on the sidewalk for the afternoon, returning to find your grocery store discount card missing, and going bananas over the injustice of it all. I will get all uppity about Security not seeming to know whether or not they arrested a rapist yet, but I don't think they are going to search the pockets of 20,000 students for a key. The "man" should have posted an announcement to the effect of "I was dumb enough to leave my key in a motorcycle on a college campus. Thank you, thank you for not taking it. I am truly lucky."
Finally, this was just amusing.
10/27 7:34 p.m. — A man was asked to leave an event at the Hawaiian Studies building. He had been feeding his dog with the food provided for the event.
I hope the dog didn't have to eat any poi. Let's just say it's an acquired taste.