Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The environmentally friendly explosive

Russia has developed a new, gigantic bomb. Here's a brief article. One of the things that the Russian military is touting about the bomb is that it is environmentally friendly. Seriously. Here's the quote:

"At the same time, I want to stress that the action of this weapon does not contaminate the environment, in contrast to a nuclear one."

This revelation about the environmental merits of conventional bombs spurred me to create a list.

Top 10 Ways that Bombs and the Russian Military are Good for the Environment.

10. Wipes out invasive species in seconds! (and everything else, too).
9. Prevents clear-cutting of trees across the entire blast radius. Where there's no trees; there's no logging.
8. After a strike, the former agricultural lands lay dormant for years. Builds up nitrogen in the soil, you know.
7. Creates virgin territory for plants to move into.
6. If the flammable materials weren't in the bomb, they'd probably be in a Hummer and you wouldn't be able to see around them. So really bombs reduce traffic accidents, too.
5. Russian military buys carbon offsets for each bomb they drop on Chechnyans.
4. Civilian body parts are part of the web of life.
3. Worm populations typically increase by 20% after a strike.
2. Our bombs are grown without pesticides.
1. Two words: population decrease.

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