It's Saturday night and B is asleep, so what would I be doing but dialing into work editing Review 1, which I thought was finished days ago, but one of the editors sent a whole list of new changes.
However, my connection to the work computer crashed yet again. I needed to wait a few minutes before re-connecting, and I'd already read all my normal blogs, so I clicked on Amazon. Maybe I'd browse my wishlist or something as a break.
You know how Amazon is always featuring ads from some store of theirs on the front page? Well, today's store.... Let me just say
Apparently, it was ladies' undergarment day, and not just any old lingerie set, they ain't promoting Hanes HerWay here; I'm talking fishnet body stockings with cutouts for ummm, uhhhh, my mom and spouse read this, ummm cut-outs for.... well, there were two openings. Balanced. That required strategic finger placement.
Now, I, despite being shocked, shocked I tell you!, found the courage to click on one undeniably sexy, but still in the classy version of sexy, instead of the raunchy version of sexy, picture.** In fact it was this one. Now before you click the link, it will take you to sexy lingerie pics on Amazon. You must judge if it's NSFW or not. Oh, the link.
From this link, you can follow links to other things people purchased who looked at this, and I was genuinely surprised for some reason. I remember quite clearly quite clearly in high school, guys hording the shocking and risqué Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue. Logic tells me that I shouldn't be surprised that Amazon sells these things and that they have pictures of models wearing them. I know one mall here has a Fredericks' store in it. And actually the whole family was in Sears a few days ago because N was buying a new dress for a conference banquet that she is at right now. While N was in the dressing room, I was having a fun time amusing myself with B in the lingerie section of Sears, which truly was right next to the dresses. I would hold up a little red lace thong for B and turn it around, saying, "oh no! they forgot the back side!" N didn't find the game exactly appropriate.
But despite the fact that most of the same stuff is at Sears, I for some reason was genuinely surprised to find it on Amazon. Of course, Sears doesn't have women wearing it walking around. Hmm.. I see a visit to the Sears Suggestion Box in the near future. Anyway, how do teenage boys ever do anything if they can look at these things right on Amazon? There must be this 6 month vanishing act now around the age of 12 or 13 when puberty hits.
After all this, however, I was left with a question. After extensive research and careful study, I can't tell the difference between a chemise, a charmeuse, and a baby doll. Does anyone know? And if you do know the answer, could you, um, explain it with pictures?***
Did I say "extensive research"? I meant a passing glance. In fact, the only reason I was on any of these pages for any length of time at all was because I was so bored I kept falling asleep.
**(OK, maybe classy isn't exactly the word, but it's not this!)
*** Here's my best guess. I kept studying the shape of the... garment. But is it perhaps in the fabric itself? The charmeuse and chemise seem more satiny than the baby dolls.