Saturday, June 07, 2008

Things I don't believe

1) I don't believe in conspiracies. I mean those amazing world-shaking, generation-spreading conspiracies. Conspiracies like that require far more competence from humans than I've ever seen. The American IRS can't even get rebate checks out on their original schedule. They'd never pull off the first 15 minutes of an X-Files episode.

2) I don't believe Mariah Carey's sold as many records as she has. She's had more number one records in the U.S. than anyone. More than Madonna, more than Aretha Franklin, more than freaking Elvis. And yet I think I know one, maybe two songs. Do any of you have a Mariah Carey album?! I think my younger sis had one. That's one with some odd many million more to go. Who's buying these things?

3) In 50 years, I still don't think we will have flying cars. We can't drive safely on the ground. How will we ever pull it off going a hundred miles an hour faster and in 3 dimensions? And as for the car folding up into a briefcase so I can take it to work? Fugeddaboutit. I am looking forward to my jet pack, though. I'd be looking forward to it even more if I was a personal injury lawyer.

Yeah, apparently this song, One Sweet Day, a duet between Carey and Boyz II Men spent more weeks at number one than any song ever. Don't think I've ever heard it before. Where was I in the mid-90s? I can answer that -- in Mississippi listening to Van Morrison and a bunch of people like Muddy Waters and John Lee Hooker in my blues phase.

Hmm. While my blues phase has passed, I still prefer this:

6 comments:

Courtney said...

1. that was the best defense argument against x-file type consperacy, galen and i lmao!!!

2. the butterfly loving, no bra wearing diva has sold that many. its just not ur thing. and yes i do have her albums, not all but several.

3. if james bond can do it in a suit then i can do it in heels, and galen says he already has his health, life and medical insurance lience, he has no problem investing in jet pack stocks, :-D

4. that is a good song i remember it when it came out, and even though u must have been an old man in the 90's due to ur music taste, i remember listening to both genres :-P

writtenwyrdd said...

I'm sure there are conspiracies, but not lizard-aliens who are really all the royal and wealthy families of the world. More like a good ol' boy network. Because I believe you are right, no group could manage the level of the X-files!

Maria Carey is that popular? I don't know one song she's done, and I can't stand watching her. Granted, she's gorgeous, but there's something so lifeless and mechanical about her performances, like Lincoln giving a speech at Disneyland. Creepy.

And I've had the flying car thought myself. I figure unless they invent cars that drive themselves to manage human stupidity, we are never going to see them.

Courtney said...

by the way, i LOVE that version of 'got my mojo working' !!!!!! muddy is 1 of my top 5 music artists of all time!!!!!!

because of u dear brother, i wrote my thesis on david "honeyboy" edwards and louis armstrong and how their music effeted awerness of the the enviroment of the deep south along the mississippi rive. and i own more honeyboy albums than mariah carey, so there!!!!
:-P :-P

pjd said...

Flying cars won't exist because (a) gas is $4.33 a gallon and (b) the US auto maker lobby is still strong enough to make Congress think we need laws to keep anyone else from making flying cars because clearly that would drive the US auto makers out of business and send jobs overseas, sending our economy into the tank.

Oh, what? Our economy's already...? Never mind.

McKoala said...

I think that point (2), the success of Mariah Carey, and appendix point (1), the lengthy chart stay of a song featuring Mariah Carey that nobody remembers, refutes utterly your point (1), the non-existence of conspiracy theory.

ril said...

I think the apparent popularity of Mariah Carey is some kind conspiracy.

They're smarter than you think.